


All You Knead is Love

by Jordannabanana5



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, DELIVERY BOY, F/M, The Pizza Man, cheesy puns, iterally cheesy pizza, sasha is a meat lover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 02:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3272948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jordannabanana5/pseuds/Jordannabanana5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasha desperately keeps ordering pizzas from Marco's Pizza trying to get the pun-derful delivery boy Connie! Her stripper neighbors, Eren and Jean, find what they are looking for in a pizza delivery boy, but Sasha is at a loss. Will she find her knight carrying his trustee pizza? Stay tuned!</p>
            </blockquote>





	All You Knead is Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theunbloggable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theunbloggable/gifts).



> This is inspired by a totally hot pizza guy from Screaming Mimi's Pizza. You rock hot pizza dude.

I was completely exhausted after climbing the five flights of stairs, but was determined to get out of the uncomfortable hotel monkey clothes I call a uniform. I stripped my button down shirt, and slacks and traded them in for sweatpants, sports bra, and zip up jacket. Being hospitable towards hotel guests all day while the real manager sits on his ass, me and my staff do all the hard work.

God was I ready for my week off without guests asking,  “Where is the pool?” and “Why weren’t there more towels in my room? I need four for one shower!” My relaxing thoughts of down-time were interrupted as my stomach let out a long growl. I looked at my stomach and then looked at the kitchen. There was nothing in there I wanted- especially when the couch was so comfortable.

“Uuuuuuuuuggghhhh!”  I groaned.   I was not in the mood to get up or make anything. I  had already sunk deep into the couch and there was probably nothing to make anyway. I decided to reach for my phone and order a pizza. There was a new place that opened nearby and I was dying to try it after Eren and Jean told me how great it was.

I looked up the number for Marco’s Pizza and dialed. The dial tone was quickly interrupted by a very monotone voice:

“Hello?” Said the guy on the other line.

Caught off guard by the answer I asked “Uh- Hi is this Marco’s Pizza?”

“No this is Connie” The other voice on the line said and then there was a quick shuffling sound of phone handling followed by a, “Connie shut the fuck up! Hello Marco’s Pizza, this is Reiner speaking how may I help you?” There was laughter on the other end of the phone, probably this so called ‘Connie’ character.

I laughed a little before I ordered a large meat-lovers pizza and gave my address.

“Alright, and can I get a name?”

“Yes! Sasha Braus. B-R-A-U-S.”

“Alright Miss Braus, your pizza will be there shortly! We will be sure to send our cutest delivery boy!”

“Wait wh-” I tried to say before the other line hung up.

“Oh well,” I thought “I’m down for a cute delivery boy!”

There was a knock on the door about twenty minutes after I ordered the pizza and since I was on the fifth floor of my apartment building I figured it was either Eren or Jean coming over to bother me or mooch for food like usual.

I was completely taken back when I opened the door and there was a shorter guy standing in front of me with a pizza box. He was wearing a collared shirt with the ‘Marco’s Pizza’ logo printed on it along with a matching visor hiding his buzzed hair.

“Hello,” the boy breathed heavily, “The front door was open downstairs.”  He took another large breathe of air and said, “Holy shit that’s a lot of stairs!”

“Oh shit sorry! I forgot the elevator was down!” To be honest I was completely used to climbing those stairs everyday because the elevator was always broken! It had been broken since I moved in. “Here come in!” I said as I went to the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water and my wallet.

I walked back to where the un-named pizza boy was now standing inside my apartment and took the pizza while handing him the water. “Why do you do this to yourself!?” He asked as he started drinking the water.

“That’s why I got the pizza! I need some kind of reward!” I laughed in amusement as I started taking money out of my wallet.

“I guess this is why Reiner said I was being punished with this run!” He chuckled and then stood up straight “Oh yea! on behalf of Marco’s Pizza I, Connie, bestow this- uh- that pizza upon thee!” He said obviously recited.

“Oooooohhhh so you’re Connie?”  I smirked “You know, if you want to prank people you should probably go with a fake name.”

“Oh crap that was you? Dammit Reiner!”

I laughed and handed Connie twenty-five dollars and said, “Keep the change sir-jokes-a-lot” before opening the box and almost dropping dead laughing at what was written inside.

Connie took notice of my laughter and wanted to know what was up.  “Is there something funny about the pizza?” He asked probably looking at me like I was crazy.

“I think your co-worker Reiner just finished his punishment,” I said through shaky breaths of laughter.

“Wait what!? He wrote a message in the box!?” Connie asked concerned and scared.

Inside the box on the lid there was a message that read “Dear Miss Braus, I know I promised to send our cutest delivery boy, but they aren’t working today and all we had was Connie. My deepest apologies.”

I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breath! and Connie’s reaction made it that much better!

“Aw What!? HEY!” He said trying not to laugh himself. “Reiner is in for it now!”

My laughter died down enough for me to grab a slice of pizza and start eating it “I guess he doesn’t follow the ‘In pizza, we crust’ rule huh?” I said with a chuckle and received a glance of awe from Connie

“I think you just stole a pizza my heart” He said with a confident smirk.

“Don’t be cheesy Connie” I smiled

“Sorry but I didn’t know I needed your parmesan to make puns” Connie spouted back at me.

“Cheesus crust that was good thinking!” I laughed. Connie wasn’t all that bad, and without the doofy looking visor he was actually kind of cute. Although, maybe it was the pizza puns.

I could tell Connie wanted to keep punning, but he got a call from Reiner who apparently told him to come back soon; which sucked because I was starting to enjoy Connie’s presence!

“uggghhh, I guess I should go back. It’s been a pleasure miss…?” Connie trailed off.

“Sasha. Call me Sasha,” I interjected and smiled at him.

“Sasha.” He smiled back “It’s been nice meeting you, oh, and have a pizza perfect evening!” He said the last bit rehearsed. And with that he left.

I don’t know who that pizza boy Connie was, but damn, I wanted to see him again almost as much as I wanted to eat this entire pizza!

 

<>

 

It was about two days after ordering the first pizza, I was sitting in my apartment with Eren playing video games and spilling all the details from the night before! Eren was only interested in listening to tell me “I told you so” about the pizza being good. After gushing about how great the pizza was, and the more than enjoyable service, Eren was getting hungry.

“Sasha if you want to continue this conversation we should probably get some actual pizza because  I’m starving!” Eren said, while also extra focused on Mario Kart.

“Hmmmm… pizza?” I thought “That’s a great idea!” I said excitedly as I paused the game and jumped for my phone.

I dialed the recent number and was anxious for the answer on the other end.

“Hello Marco’s Pizza, this is Reiner how may I help you?” The familiar voice answered. Too bad it wasn’t the familiar voice I was looking for. I continued with my order and gave my address “This wouldn’t happen to be Ms. Braus on the phone would it?” The friendly voice asked.

“Why yes it would be” I chuckled “and be sure to send your cutest delivery boy!”

Reiner laughed and continued “Will do Miss Braus!”

When I hung up I was completely overjoyed! “Eren! I get to see him again!”

“Yeah, yeah, more importantly I get pizza! Fuck yeah!” Eren said excitedly.

“Hey!” I said lightly punching him with a laugh “Be excited for me!”

“No offense Sasha, but the guys you like aren’t always the cutest, with you it’s love at first pun!” Eren said trying to unpause the game.

“Your point?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“When a cute guy actually comes to the door, let me know!” He laughed, fighting me for the controller. When he fell over reaching for it, I quickly unpaused the game and pulled ahead of him. “Hey! no fair!”

“All is fair in Mario Kart,” I laughed.

30 minutes went by before there was a knock on the door. I leaped over the back of the couch, and almost fell in the process, just about tackling the door to answer it. I hope the look of disappointment on my face wasn’t too evident when I saw that Connie was not at the door.

“On behalf of Marco’s Pizza I, Armin, bestow this pizza upon thee.” A small blonde-headed boy said with a bright smile trying not to breathe too heavily.

I was disappointed. Armin was adorable and I understood why he was the cutest delivery boy, but, Connie.

Eren, on the other hand, swooped in and immediately started flirting with Armin! I smiled as I watched the two connect. It was cute. I may not have gotten to see Connie, but at least Eren was enjoying himself.

I paid Armin and took the pizza allowing him to talk to Eren more.

I opened the box and found another note written in different handwriting this time. It read: “My gender is pizza, because everyone wants a slice of me! -Connie”

I couldn’t help but laugh and smile to myself.

 

<>

 

“Sasha why don’t you order a pizza while the color is processing?” Jean said as lounges on my couch.

“You better not get hair dye on my couch Jean! Go sit in a chair!”

“But the chair isn’t as comfortable!” Jean whined.

“That’s your own fault! You’re the one who insists on keeping the top part of your hair that color!” I spouted back at him with a laugh. We did this every few weeks, Jean would knock on my door with a box of hair dye and require my assistance to dye the top part of his undercut for whatever reason. “Why don’t you call? I’ve already ordered twice this week!”

“Wouldn’t want to accidentally get hair-dye on my phone now would I?” Jean smirked.

“Dammit” I groaned not wanting to order pizza for the third time. I would order from somewhere else but the fact is that Marco’s Pizza was the best pizza I have ever had and I could try again to get Connie to deliver the pizza.

I grabbed the phone and dialed the familiar number again which quickly got answered “Would this happen to be Miss Sasha Braus?” Reiner said on the other line.

I let out a sigh before I answered, “Yeeeeessss. Hi Reiner. you need my order?”

“Nope I think I got it! Cutest delivery boy?” I could hear his polite tone over the voice.

“Second cutest!” I chuckled.

“You got it!” Reiner said as he hung up the phone.

I put away my phone with a stupid grin on my face and looked up to see Jean staring at me with a raised eyebrow. “Did you even order pizza?”

“I told you, I’ve ordered twice this week! They know me and my order!”

“It sounded less like you were ordering pizza and more like you were ordering a stripper,” Jean laughed.

“Why would I order a stripper when you and Eren live next door? Knowing you two makes me never want to meet another ‘Male entertainer’ again!” I smirked and watched Jean roll his eyes at me.

Oh yea, I never mentioned that Jean and Eren live next to me. I originally wouldn’t have talked to them had it not have been for their constant arguing! The only reason we are close now is because one day I couldn’t handle the arguing anymore. I knocked on their door in the middle of their argument and yelled “Shut the fuck up you two! I’m looking at you both for the first time now and I can tell you that neither of you are the ‘hot’ one!” They were arguing because of their looks! You see, they are both ‘male entertainers’ and constantly argue about who gets the most clients. It’s extremely annoying, but after I yelled at them they never left me alone.

After 20 minutes of waiting around for pizza, Jean’s hair couldn’t wait any longer and needed to be washed out. “You know the drill Jean. To the tub!” I said triumphantly heading to the bathroom.

“Fuck I hate this part, you always miss my hair and get my clothes all wet!” Jean whined.

“Shut Up and lean your head in the tub. And don’t be a dumbass! At least you’re a guy and can take your shirt off!”

Jean just rolled his eyes at me and took off his shirt over his stupid hair dye. He then rolled up his pants and started to lean down over the tub. Just then there was a knock at the door and about ran into a full on sprint to answer it.

“Oh, are you hoping that’s Connie!?” Jean jumped up and tripped me halfway to the door “Gotta be quicker Sasha!”

“Ow fuck! Dammit Jean!” I jumped up and tried to beat Jean to the door but was unsuccessful.

Jean swung open the door and gave a confident smirk to the tall freckled man who was standing there “Well hello there!” Jean smiled and waggled his eyebrows.

“Uh, Hello! And on behalf of Marco’s pizza I, Marco, bestow this pizza upon thee!” Marco said before I busted into laughter. Jean looked completely stupid with his hair dye in, shirt off, and pants rolled up past his knees.

“Jean you look like a dumbass!” I said paying Marco and taking the pizza “Thank you Marco. Are you the Marco?”

“Yes! I own the restaurant. From what I hear you are a pretty big fan!” Marco smiled at me.

“Yea well, it’s the best pizza around and I have two moochers to feed along with myself.” I laughed and looked at Jean who was creepily staring at Marco.

“You’re attractive.” Jean said with his mouth basically hanging open.

I punched his arm “Jean! Don’t be weird!”

“I-uhm- th-thank you?” Marco said a little flustered.

I handed him some more singles “Sorry about him. I knew this horse shouldn’t have left his stable today!” I smiled at Marco “Thank you for the pizza!”

“Oh, No problem! Thank you for your business!”  Marco said and then gave a light wave to Jean before starting to walk back down the stairs.

When Marco was gone I turned to look at Jean “I hope this isn’t how you act around your clients because I would want my money back!” I finished with a laugh.

“Shut up!” Jean whined.

I set the box on the counter and then opened it to read another message in the, now, familiar handwriting “Are you a Little Ceasars? Because you’re hot and I’m ready! -Connie” I let out an actual laugh this time and it was settled that I would order again later in the week!

“Gay,” Jean said.

“You are!” I spouted back.

“Your point? Can we wash my hair now?”

“Ugh fine! We will wash out the hair dye along with your embarrassment with Marco” I laughed walking to the bathroom.

 

<>

 

It was Saturday night, the last night of my vacation time and I knew it was now or never! I picked up the phone to call Marco’s Pizza

“Sasha?” Reiner answered in a friendly tone.

“Are you always working!?” I laughed.

“Pretty much. The usual? Large meat lovers pizza and a cute delivery boy?”

“Yes, but for the love of god send Connie!”

“But you asked for a cute delivery boy!” Reiner laughed on the other end of the phone.

“Just send Connie please!”

“Alright, alright! One large meat lovers pizza and one large idiot coming up!” He laughed before hanging up the phone.

I should’ve known, after the note Reiner left in the first box I should have guessed that asking for a cute delivery boy wasn’t the way to see Connie again. 35 minutes went by before there was finally a knock on my door.

I opened the  door excitedly to finally see the punning idiot I have been wanting to see all week!

Connie was breathing heavily- just like last time- and was holding a small box of pizza, which was weird because I ordered a large. “Look,” he said trying to catch his breathe “If this is punishment for the notes I’ve been leaving I’m not sorry.” He smiled.

I laughed a little bit before answering him “No! Actually I love the notes! Unlike that pizza they can’t be topped! Which by the way I do believe I ordered a large.”

“Oh, Uhm, well I brought you a small because, well I have the rest of the night off and I was wondering if- uhm- maybe you wanted to grab dinner with me? I didn’t want you to get full.” Connie said with a blush and a smile.

I was overjoyed! Finally! I walked over to Connie and gave him a hug. Pulling away I smiled and said “Don’t worry, I never get full, but Connie-”

“Yea?”

“Can you please take that stupid visor off?”

“Why?” He smiled “Doesn’t it make me look cool?”

“No, it makes you look like a weir-dough” I laughed.


End file.
